FROM: Disney Tale of the Tape Published Every Other Saturday

Boatwright's Dining Hall vs Kona Cafe

In an unlikely match-up, Boatwright's Dining Hall drags its dinner-only gut to the ring for some pre-match, down-home trash talk with its toned, tanned, and tattooed opponent, Kona Cafe, a fan favorite known to pack a potent Polynesian punch.

- by Dan Sisneros, July 2, 2011

Tonight's main event pits two resort eateries in a delicious confrontation. These two local champions are starving for the spotlight, and when the smoke clears, one will emerge as a contender for a title shot. The two have very different styles, and as they say: "Styles make fights"! They both have a solid local fan base, too.

Let's look at the Tale of the Tape for this 7 round bout:

Let's go straight to the action!

ROUND 1: Location & Seating

Both restaurants are located in beautiful settings. Boatwright's Dining Hall (BDH) sits on the marina walkway at Disney's Port Orleans Riverside resort. Kona Cafe (KC) is on the second level of the Great Ceremonial House at Disney's Polynesian resort. Though the settings are noteworthy, they vie with nearby diversions.

Boatwright's is nestled in the complex that also hosts Riverside's lobby, food court, Lounge, and General Store. From the outside, the BDH facade stands a little taller than its neighbors, and is quite inviting. With people outside taking carriage rides, renting boats, and and waiting to board the taxi to Downtown Disney, it's an active setting that adds to the experience.

Kona is inside the Great Ceremonial House of the Polynesian Resort - an impressive setting! With the monorail just beyond the sliding glass doors on the second floor, and with shops, tropical gardens, and the resort's other table-service restaurant, 'Ohana, nearby, the setting is similar to one you'd encounter in an upscale mall.

Both contestants throw out their jabs and carefully try to set up the knockout punch, but it looks like a tactical boxing match and both must stick to their fight plan to prevail.

This is a hard round to score. Boatwright's location has a more laid-back feel, and it's off the beaten path. If you've never stayed at either of the Port Orleans resorts, chances are you've never been to BDH. By contrast, the Polynesian (and Kona) is a mere monorail hop from the Magic Kingdom and its adjoining resorts, and a short boat ride from the Wilderness Lodge and Fort Wilderness Campground. Kona, by far, has the more popular location.

The edge, however, goes to Boatwright's, based on the marina right outside the door and because it's the only table-service restaurant available to guests of Riverside and French Quarter, the two Port Orleans resorts. Kona Cafe is often overlooked as the little sister of the better known (and character populated) 'Ohana.

I'm sure I'll hear "What fight was he watching?" over this call. Sorry! I love the simplicity and the 'down-hominess' of the Boatwright's setting.

On my scorecard, Boatwright's takes round 1 with a score of 10-9.

ROUND 2: Theme

Both of these eateries offer strong themes.

Boatwright's theme is 'sturdier', with dark colors, lots of wood, and hardwood floors. The skeletal hull of a ship hangs from the ceiling of the main dining room. Ship builders' tools hang on the walls and even the tables have a 'themed' tool box to hold condiments.

Kona's theme is more eclectic. It's a Polynesian style, very colorful and artsy - 'tropical artsy' is the best way I can describe it. Even though the theme here is less defined, it's a lot of fun.

BDH pulls it off again! Many might prefer the lighter, more fanciful Kona theme, but for this judge, the subdued decor of Boatwright's is compelling.

Boatwright's is off to a good start in this battle as it takes round 2 by a score of 10-9.

ROUND 3: Service & Ambiance

Service has not been an issue at either of these restaurants. It can be hit and miss at both of them, but usually the 'Disney friendly' servers will get it right. It's the ambiance that differs.

Boatwright's has a dark, cool setting, with high ceilings which sometimes produce an 'echo' of diner chat that makes the restaurant noisier than I'd like. Despite the noise, it's a nice place for a casual romantic dinner.

Kona is bright, colorful, and whimsical, with more of an 'anything goes' flair. Everything here is colorful, even the carpet! A battery of tropical ceiling fans generate a soft breeze, and the 'wavey' design of the decor lightens up the restaurant considerably. It's plain fun to eat here.

While there isn't much to separate these two when it comes to service, they differ greatly in ambiance. When it's just myself and 'Mrs Boxing Guru', I make an ADR for Boatwright's. But for a group, Kona is the better place to eat.

A close round, but I have to rush to judgment because the referee has arrived to take my scorecard. And... round 3 goes to Kona by the razor thin margin of 10-9.

ROUND 4: Food

I have enjoyed the food at both establishments. The menus match the themes. This is a punishing round with each combatant giving as good as they take.

Boatwright's Southern comfort food is very much to my liking. Lots of spice, lots of smokey kick to the flavors. Crawfish, shrimp, catfish - oh yeah, it scores points with this judge! The offerings here are not seen on menus in southern New Mexico (where I live), and I am an adventurous eater.

Kona offers familiar foods but with an Asian twist. Not just ribeye steak, but 'ginger-crusted' ribeye steak. Not just a New York strip, but a 'teriyaki' New York strip. The Pan Asian noodles taste light and refreshing.

I love the food at both places. But I crave the spicy offerings at Boatwright's, which gives it the round, 10-9.

ROUND 5: Price & Value

Both places offer value for dinner entrees.

Dinner at Kona runs in the $20 range, but if you want a steak, it's going to be closer to $30. The value is good for the unusual prep styles of the entrees, and can be a real treat if you're looking for something a little different.

Now KC unleashes a barrage of punches that puts BDH into the ropes... the lunch menu!

Since Boatwright's doesn't offer a breakfast or a lunch menu, it has no answer for Kona's punishing pre-dinner combinations. BDH falls into the ropes to cover, bob, and weave in hopes of surviving the onslaught.

Lunch at Kona is a great deal. If you want a burger, you can get a great one, but the secret weapon here is the Polynesian Plate Lunch, which comes with your choice of grilled teriyaki steak or pan-fried chicken with mango sauce, served with sticky rice and macaroni salad. It sounds a little 'starchy', but that's the traditional Hawaiian combo.

And then we have the big overhand right that connects solidly to Boatwright's jaw: breakfast! Tonga Toast is one of the most popular breakfast offerings in all of Disney World, and 'The Big Kahuna' offers the works - French toast, pineapple/macadamia pancakes, eggs, potatoes, ham, bacon, AND sausage, all on one plate, for $11.99!

Boatwright's is an outstanding value for dinner, with four different offerings under $20, each 'Southern flavored'. If it was just dinner vs dinner, I'd give BDH the edge, but it's not.

As a result, Kona lands every punch in the book, and BDH goes down swinging. The referee makes the mandatory 8-count, and the bout continues, but BDH still has not recovered from this onslaught, and goes down again. The referee counts to 9 as BDH gets up and mumbles "I'm OK"! As Kona moves in to finish the bout, BDH is saved by the bell!

A HUGE round for Kona Cafe! With two knockdowns, KC takes it 10-7.

ROUND 6: Dessert

Despite an early lead, the debacle of round 5 leaves Boatwright's with little more than a prayer to finish the fight on its feet.

BDH offers some wonderful desserts, including a favorite of mine, pecan pie, but their specialty is New Orleans bread pudding with rum raisin ice cream and Fosters sauce.

Again, though, Kona takes over, with a classic Kilauea torte that's hard to beat. The menu describes it as "an explosion of warm liquid chocolate inside a chocolate cookie volcano". Wow! It's a masterpiece of chocolatey beauty! And it has friends, equally beautiful to behold, not to mention taste, such as banana-chocolate creme brulee and the popular Kona cone.

BDH gets caught with a shot and falls back into the ropes, forcing the referee to make another standing 8-count on the wobbly gladiator. Luckily, the bell rings, and BDH escapes once again, leaving Kona dominant and virtually unscathed.

No surprise here: Kona takes the round 10-8.

ROUND 7: Intangibles

The ringside crowd now realizes this bout was a mis-match. Boatwright's has one good culinary punch - great Southern style food - and not much else. It can't stand up against Kona's breakfast-lunch-dinner combos. BDH does show a few minor moves, such as the greater likelihood of last-minute reservations, but it simply isn't enough.

Although Boatwright's doesn't quit, and continues to pull surprises from its meagre arsenal, Kona overpowers every attempt at a comeback and takes the final round, 10-9.

JUDGES' FINAL SCORECARD

Now, let's go to ringside and our colorful ring announcer - Bob McLain...

Ladies and Gentlemen! After seven bruuuuu-tal rounds of boxing..., we have a uuuuu-nanimous decision:

• Judge PAULY NISSAN scores the bout: 68 - 62...
• Judge BEAU TRITE scores the bout: 67 -64...
• and Judge DAN SISNEROS scores the bout 67 - 63...

All in favor of the winner by unanimous decision: KONA CAFE!

After a fast start, it looked like Boatwright's Dining Hall was poised to pull off the upset. But as the rounds progressed, the class of Kona Cafe began to wear its opponent down, and after 2 knockdowns and a standing 8-count by KC, there was little suspense in the arena about the decision.

Boatwright's Dining Hall shows lots of promise and great skill, but it just wasn't ready to enter the title picture. After this performance, Kona Cafe moves up in the rankings.

Come on back in two weeks for more boxing from Disney World!

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