FROM: Wandering the World with Wally Published Mondays

Wally Tells His Story

Ever the tireless traveler, bombastic Wally this week does the unthinkable: he does not wander! Instead, he sits in the shade with friend Bruce, a snifter of spirits, and a packed pipe, eager to discuss his exploits and his recent troubles.

- by Walter Octavius March, June 13, 2011

KUNGALOOSH!

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Bruce. I'm a close friend of Walter Octavius March, and the narrator for his wanderings.

When we last saw Wally, as he is affectionately known, he was about to board the boat at It's a Small World when a Cast Member called out to him.

This has me worried, because Wally has been followed - or stalked, if you prefer - and I'm fearful that the Cast Member is the bearer of another disturbing message from Wally's mysterious admirer - or nemesis, if you prefer.

Before I address that issue, it occurs to me that some readers may not be familiar with Wally's history, and so this seems like an ideal time to sit down with him, here in the Pinocchio Village Haus where he has come for a cold beverage and to ponder what the Cast Member at Small World just told him. Without further ado...

Bruce: I have the pleasure to introduce to you, Walter Octavius March.

Wally: Thank you, my friend. It is good to see you again.

B: How have you been?

W: Well, I've been better. Since those scoundrels shuttered the Adventurers Club on Pleasure Island. I have been wandering around Walt Disney World and thoroughly enjoying myself, until recently.

B: Wally, let's start with the Adventurers club before we get to your recent troubles. How was it that the Club you loved so dearly was shut down? Couldn't you prevent it?

W: Ah, my friend, I was out of the country. I was supposed to meet fellow Adventurer Emil Bleehall in the desert near Morocco. We were to find a gem reputed to be as large and as infamous as the Hope Diamond. But Emil never showed in Casablanca, and when I got back to Pleasure Island, the Club and all my friends were all gone.

B: It sounds like Emil tricked you into leaving the country, knowing full well what was about to happen.

W: I don't know about that, my boy, but I did hear that Emil and Pamelia are planning to open another Adventurers Club of their own. I heard this news from Otis Wren. And after hearing it, I did recall that Otis and Emil and I were always the three fighting it out for the Adventurer of the Year and the Balderdash Cup.

So, maybe that is why Emil sent me away on a wild gem hunt.

But as we used to say, "Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you, but always dress for the hunt!"

B: Okay, Wally. You brought up the Balderdash Cup. What was one of your favorite stories from your Cup days?

W: Ah, well, I enjoyed telling about all of my adventures, but I think my favorite was the time I was in Zanzibar and the Sultan's youngest daughter went missing.

I was there with two adventurer friends, and we decided that the Sultan would reward handsomely whichever of us found his daughter. So, together, we started our search. It was tough going at first, because the sandstorms were horrible and we couldn't venture far from shelter. Then we got lucky - I mean, we pooled our prodigious skills - and found the young msichana (girl, in Zanzibari) in a cave that had been revealed by the storm.

Later, in that same cave, the Sultan's men found a small bronze lamp. The Sultan rewarded us by allowing us to rub the lamp. We did, and a djinn appeared! Since there were three of us, the djinn gave us each one wish, instead of three to one of us. Quite fair!

The first fellow wished he could be a Sultan himself. He disappeared! I went next and wished I could be at the Adventurers Club. The next thing I knew, I was sitting at the bar next to the Colonel. A few minutes later, though, I was right back in Zanzibar standing next to the two other fellows again. It seems the bloody fool that chose last said that he missed us and wished we were back with him. I had a good laugh after I realized what had happened and then booked passage back to Pleasure Island.

B: Oh, that is funny. So, have you enjoyed your stay in Walt Disney World since returning from abroad?

W: Oh, it has been wonderful. Every now and then, I find myself wandering to Downtown Disney and walking past the ruins of the old Adventurers Club. But now they're doing construction in that spot and calling it Hyperion Wharf.

Did you know Hyperion was the "god of light"? No, ah, but you did know Hyperion was the name of the street where Walt Disney built his first studio, didn't you? Very good!

I have also been wandering around this wonderful resort that Mr. Disney planned and his brother built. I have been enjoying it very much, until recently.

B: Wally, what has been happening lately? It sounds a little baffling.

W: Baffled is the perfect word for what I am, my friend! I started getting odd messages a few weeks ago.

B: What kind of odd messages?

W: The first said, "I will be in touch." The next made reference to me being able to find things. Then a man approached me about finding things again as I bought my dear sweet Mum a Mother's Day present in the United Kingdom Pavilion.

B: That is weird - anything else?

W: Well, yes, I visited Mayor Weaver (the Mayor of Main Street, U.S.A. in the Magic Kingdom) and he told me that someone had been asking about me.

B: And then this past week you were telling me about a Cast Member at It's a Small World calling you over before you got on the boat. What did she tell you?

W: Well, after my companion ran off to use the restroom (he's still in there, apparently), the Cast Member called to me. I thought she'd invite me to lead a sing-along, but she said that a woman on another boat had seen me and asked her to give me a piece of paper.

B: What did it say?

W: Well I have it here:

B: Oh, my - what do you think it means?

W: I wish I knew, my friend, I wish I knew.

B: What are you going to do about this, Wally?

W: Well, I think I will - oh, please excuse me for a moment, I hear my phone ringing. (Yes, that ringtone is from Daktari.) I'm sorry, that was City Hall, and there seems to be a message there for me. They say that I must retrieve it in person! Perhaps finally this new message will shed some light on the matter.

B: Or add further confusion.

W: Could be that, too - we'll see. Thank you for coming by today, Bruce.

B: Thank you, Wally! If you need me, please call.

W: Of course, my friend!

Until next time, KUNGALOOSH! And keep your eyes open for Adventure!

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