Wally in a tight spot

About the Column

Wally, a distant relative of popular Disney blogger Bruce G, was detained abroad when the scoundrels shuttered the Adventurers Club on Pleasure Island. Returning several years later, Wally found his old friends scattered and his old haunts refurbished. Ever the intrepid soul, Wally chose to stay, having nowhere else to go. In characteristic high spirits, Wally retrieved his trusty brown fedora from a locker at the Orlando bus station and commenced his wanderings through Disney World. He graciously takes time (as if we could stop him) to regale us weekly with the sights and sounds of his unique adventures.

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FROM: Wandering the World with Wally Published Mondays

Adventures in Tomorrowland

As it turns out, Wally had no stalker at all, at least not a malicious one, and so happily relieved of that burden, he resumes his wanderings through Disney World, which this week take him to Tomorrowland and a dangerous escaped criminal.


Good day, my fellow adventurer!

I am very excited today. After a wonderful time the other night at the Tambu Lounge, where I met my 'stalker', I am in very good spirits! As it turned out, I was being stalked by someone in need of my knowledge about the Adventurers Club, which I miss terribly.

But I found a new friend, one Ms. Debra Peterson, the Disney P.I.

Since I am in such a good mood today, let's do some celebrating. What to celebrate? I know! Were you know aware that yesterday was Stitch Day? That's correct, it was 6-26, or 626 - thus, Stitch day!

In honor of the little blue alien adventurer, I plan to wander the Magic Kingdom. I heard that Stitch was running amok, and the Grand Councilwoman wanted him beamed to the Galactic Federation Prisoner Teleport Center in Tomorrowland. Would you like to come with me and offer our assistance? Very good, let's go!

Wally is Deputized

I'm glad we were sworn in by the Grand Councilwoman while we stood in the queue for Stitch's Great Escape. Ah, look ahead: Captain Gantu! Yes, I know he's a Big Dummy, but keep your voice down.

What's that he's saying?

There's a Level 3 prisoner beaming into the Center! Stitch is a Level 3. I wonder if it is him? Since we've been deputized, let's follow orders and proceed to the Level 3 teleportation chamber, immediately.

This Chamber is a little dark, isn't it? And with a Level 3 on the way, it could get a bit harrowing, but don't worry - I was in a situation once equally worrisome....

From Sasquatch...

I was spelunking in an area of Gifford Pinchot National Park called Ape Cave, not far from the Mount St. Helens volcano. When I was there, the mountain was rumbling, and as we made our way back to the surface after a day of underground exploration, there was a big hairy beast in front of the mouth of the cave. At first, I thought it was a bear, but it seemed too humanoid.

It moved away from the opening, but I could still hear noises from outside. Approaching it slowly, I found very large footprints in the loose dirt. Might it be Sasquatch, who was known to haunt these woods? But upon exiting the caves, the noises were gone, and there was no trace of bear nor beast in the bright forest sunlight...

...to Stitch

I'm sorry, they are directing us over to another. If we are going to be on guard, why would they want us to sit down, I wonder.

Excuse me, Commander, you there - this shoulder harness makes it difficult to move my arms. How on earth (or off-earth) will I be able to help you apprehend villainous aliens?

Oh, I see, we need training first, and the harnesses will prevent us from jumping to your aid before we're ready. Or from running away? What? I can assure you, my dear Commander, that my friend and I are not the running type.

Isn't that right, my friend? Open your eyes! You don't look convincing when your face is all pinched up like that.

What, Commander? Oh, you're just an assistant to the Commander, I'm sorry. But I have faith in your prospects! Now, what should we do next? Just sit back and observe the arrival of a Level 3? Capital! I'm sure you have the matter in hand, but I am a man of action, and if anything should go wrong, I may not be able to just sit and...

Very well, I will stop talking long enough so you can instruct the other trainees.

We shall merely sit and observer this time, my friend. Next time, however, I shall demand to be part of the prisoner transfer.

Oh, my - what's happening? It must be the prisoner. And look, it is Stitch! Or rather Experiment 626. Do they really need all those laser cannons trained upon him? Now, what's he doing? He must know that those cannons will fire automatically at any genetic material loose in the chamber. Ha, he's spitting!

Bad move! Those cannons are firing our way! Duck! If only my arms were free, I'd handle this situation. Look, here comes Stitch! And there he goes. I think he has made his way into the... yes, he's gotten his hands on the power source for the chamber!

Well, now, that was just rude, jumping on a man's head in the dark. What's that, my friend? He hit you in the shoulder? The scoundrel!

Wally is Gassed

What's he up to now? What is that he's eating? Oooo, I believe from the reeking gaseous mist it was a chili dog. And now he's telling us there is no eating or drinking or use of electronic devices? Rather ironic, if I do say so, him laying down rules for us.

Wonderful! They're restored the power. But those cannons are aimed our way, because Stitch is behind us. Wow! He does move quickly. Where has he gone? Look there, he's climbing the side of the Castle! I hope Cinderella doesn't mistake him for her prince.

What a mess in here. It's as if a tsunami came through. I suggest we make our exit, my friend, before they assign us mops and a bucket. Let's fellow the others out and then - what do you say? - an ice cream at Auntie Gravity's Galactic Goodies?

And while we're there, I will share the time I survived a tsunami by riding the door of my hotel room like a surf board...

You see, I was staying in Bora Bora, and the wave hit without warning. I...

Where are you off to, my friend? I have your ice cream! Ah, he must be in a rush to see whether Stitch is still loose in the Castle. Brave chap! In his absence, I will share my story with this wonderful family...

You there! Would you like an ice cream? While you're eating it, I'll tell you the story of...

Until next time, KUNGALOOSH! And keep your eyes open for Adventure!


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