A Family's Descent into Disney Hell

From New Jersey to Disney, Dante-style

- by Bob McLain, January 22, 2011

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There are bad trips to Disney, and then there are terrible trips, even rotten trips.

Sometimes the magic backfires. What'cha gonna do?

Several years ago, Jersey Diva Mom had a rotten trip to Disney.

So rotten, in fact, that she calls Disney "Dante's vision of Hell". And so scarring, apparently, that she's just writing about it now.

(Let's ignore the irony of someone writing about Hell who is from ... New Jersey!)

This poor lady's trip had many rough spots and plenty of F-Bombs.

I've spent a lot of time over the years in New Jersey, and I thought I'd heard pretty much every regional deprecation: but never 'perky little jit', which is how Jersey Diva Mom described an over-zealous Cast Member who tried to sell the family a giant stuffed animal that they'd never have gotten onto the plane.

('Perky little jit' is now part of my permanent vocabulary!)

Her family's experience on Space Mountain typified much of their vacation: ride breaks down, lights come on (ruining the 'mystique' of the Mountain), another perky little jit of a Cast Member intrudes to measure their son and finds him two inches too short for the ride, and then, well - then the fun really begins.

I won't spoil it for you.

If you're bored of the 'perky' trip reports folks usually write upon their return from Disney, then you're going to love this one. In many ways, it is a descent into Hell.

Or at least ... New Jersey!

Don't stop there! More Tidings Await...